How to Kill a Tarrasque

TarrasqueDuring a D&D game a few weeks ago, we were chatting and killing time before the game started. Someone mentioned the Tarrasque, the most powerful monster in the 5th edition Monster Manual, with a Challenge Rating (CR) of 30. I’m not sure why, but an idea for how two players of moderate level could kill it popped into my head.

Bear with me, as this approach has a certain eww factor for one of the players.

Sam the Sorcerer and Bob the Barbarian want to kill a tarrasque that is threatening their home town. Sam has the Teleport spell, and Bob wears a Ring of Regeneration. Bob also wears very spikey armor, kind of like what the glam-metal band Gwar wears in their music videos. The final ingredient in this monster-killing stew is Bob’s really big battle axe.

The steps required are very simple:

Sam the Sorcerer teleports Bob the Barbarian into the brain cavity of the tarrasque.

The Ring of Regeneration Bob’s wearing keeps him from dying, while his spikey armor and wielded battle axe cause lots of terminal damage to the giant monster’s brain, hopefully killing it instantly, or at least quickly.

Once the beasty falls to the ground dead, Sam gets some local woodsmen to swing their axes and cut Bob out of the monster’s skull.

Ohlen’s Bane now available in paperback

Book Two of The Taesian Chronicles
Book Two of The Taesian Chronicles

I am very happy to announce that Ohlen’s Bane, book two of The Taesian Chronicles, is now available as a paperback from Amazon.com.

Ohlen and his close ally, the irrepressible and honorable Kha’ard, pursue a deadly killer into a maze of underground tunnels after a close friend is assassinated. On the surface, the hardscrabble mining town of Eeron is attacked by a powerful race of creatures seeking to wipe out the humans that live there. Will the unexpected arrival of Eeron’s oldest enemy spell its doom?

Hiatus, and my return from it

I apologize to my readers and followers for my lack of communication in the last two months. I bought a house and moved, and that has taken up all of my free time since mid-October.

The weather where I live has also been a factor, disrupting schedules and plans and being downright inconvenient.

Now that things are settling down and getting back into a routine, I will be re-engaging in writing activities. I have a fourth book to write, and two existing books to release on paperback. Stay tuned, and thank you for your patience.

Tank filled up, ready to write

Mr. Hemmingway, image provided by Getty Images
Mr. Hemmingway, image provided by Getty Images

After a summer break to refill my muse, and many many hours spent designing and conducting a Dungeons & Dragons campaign to play-test a plot idea, my creative fuel tank is full and I’m ready to get back to writing.

I have begun the conceptual phase of my fourth novel — holy shit, I can’t believe I’m writing a fourth book! — I hope to get my plot event list finished by Thanksgiving at the latest. I’ve confirmed my editor, Alison, will be on-board for the story editing phase, but I will likely need to hire a new copy editor; Alison’s schedule will likely keep her from being available for that phase of the project.

As with my other projects, my target for publication is in Q1 of 2017.

In other news, I am strongly considering releasing each of the first three books in the Taesian Chronicles trilogy as paperbacks. Currently, the only way to get those words in a dead-tree edition is to buy the whole trilogy, The Taesian Chronicles. Stay tuned for updates on this effort.