How to Kill a Tarrasque

TarrasqueDuring a D&D game a few weeks ago, we were chatting and killing time before the game started. Someone mentioned the Tarrasque, the most powerful monster in the 5th edition Monster Manual, with a Challenge Rating (CR) of 30. I’m not sure why, but an idea for how two players of moderate level could kill it popped into my head.

Bear with me, as this approach has a certain eww factor for one of the players.

Sam the Sorcerer and Bob the Barbarian want to kill a tarrasque that is threatening their home town. Sam has the Teleport spell, and Bob wears a Ring of Regeneration. Bob also wears very spikey armor, kind of like what the glam-metal band Gwar wears in their music videos. The final ingredient in this monster-killing stew is Bob’s really big battle axe.

The steps required are very simple:

Sam the Sorcerer teleports Bob the Barbarian into the brain cavity of the tarrasque.

The Ring of Regeneration Bob’s wearing keeps him from dying, while his spikey armor and wielded battle axe cause lots of terminal damage to the giant monster’s brain, hopefully killing it instantly, or at least quickly.

Once the beasty falls to the ground dead, Sam gets some local woodsmen to swing their axes and cut Bob out of the monster’s skull.

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